Really? You're still calling me for help?
How pathetic are you?
It's bad enough that you distanced yourself from anything I ever did for you and your organization. It's bad enough that you bad-mouthed me to the entire community. It's bad enough that I had to explain to the Governor's aide that I don't work there anymore and can't help him.
What the &@%#$ is your problem!?!
No, I didn't withhold the login information from your new website. No, I will NOT fix your email server problem. NO! I'm not saving you from yourselves anymore! And if you keep asking me to, I'm going to use language that would make an African Rhino blush when I explain in small words how much I hate you and everything you stand for.
Dang, I saved a lot of money by no longer donating it to you guys. And by no longer buying everyone lunch 3 times a week. What the hell was I thinking? You didn't respect me anyway. Why was I doing nice things for you for so long?
Am I really that low on self respect?
17 November 2015
Mothers
This week I've been talking to friends and family about mothers. Also, someone mentioned in a church meeting that "withholding affection" was a sin. It really got my brain cranking.... But probably not in a good way.
While I should've been thinking about the ways I could be a better person and Christian, I instead shifted to my childhood and my mother. A famous comedian once made the comment that having a child is your one shot to ruin a human being from scratch. It's true. How many of us have small, major, or even traumatic moments from childhood that we just can't get over? How many of us ended up hating parents for those things we feel they should have done and didn't? How many of us are making the same mistakes with our own kids?
There is too much personal trauma in my own childhood to bring it up here. I'd need more than my current 30 years of therapy to get there. Instead, I'm going to bring up others problems. What kind of childhood did you have? Was "affection" withheld from you when your parents thought you should be a better kid?
A friend of mine. Her mom would hug her whether she was being punished or not. Being "well behaved" wasn't a reason to stop loving the kids. Interestingly, that particular friend has a self-esteem these days and is just about the best person I know.
An 'sister' of mine. Her mom touched her inappropriately. Hugs were withheld when mom didn't like a behavior. Compliments never happened. Proud of the kids? NEVER! Her mom called her mean and crude names when my 'sister' wouldn't cooperate. She doesn't talk to her mom anymore. Her kids don't see their grandparents. For all intents and purposes, her mom is dead - and she'll tell people that. I don't blame her. I wouldn't claim that thing as a mom either.
Why do we have regrets? Is there anything I can do about it now? Then why am I so focused on the past screw ups? Let it go, people. One word. Letitgo! There's a quote out there in the web about forgetting past mistakes and failures, deciding what you want and doing it now. Take a deep breath and feel the PTSD symptoms floating away...
Let's decide to be happy!
While I should've been thinking about the ways I could be a better person and Christian, I instead shifted to my childhood and my mother. A famous comedian once made the comment that having a child is your one shot to ruin a human being from scratch. It's true. How many of us have small, major, or even traumatic moments from childhood that we just can't get over? How many of us ended up hating parents for those things we feel they should have done and didn't? How many of us are making the same mistakes with our own kids?
There is too much personal trauma in my own childhood to bring it up here. I'd need more than my current 30 years of therapy to get there. Instead, I'm going to bring up others problems. What kind of childhood did you have? Was "affection" withheld from you when your parents thought you should be a better kid?
A friend of mine. Her mom would hug her whether she was being punished or not. Being "well behaved" wasn't a reason to stop loving the kids. Interestingly, that particular friend has a self-esteem these days and is just about the best person I know.
An 'sister' of mine. Her mom touched her inappropriately. Hugs were withheld when mom didn't like a behavior. Compliments never happened. Proud of the kids? NEVER! Her mom called her mean and crude names when my 'sister' wouldn't cooperate. She doesn't talk to her mom anymore. Her kids don't see their grandparents. For all intents and purposes, her mom is dead - and she'll tell people that. I don't blame her. I wouldn't claim that thing as a mom either.
Why do we have regrets? Is there anything I can do about it now? Then why am I so focused on the past screw ups? Let it go, people. One word. Letitgo! There's a quote out there in the web about forgetting past mistakes and failures, deciding what you want and doing it now. Take a deep breath and feel the PTSD symptoms floating away...
Let's decide to be happy!
02 November 2015
The Crazies
It feels like The Crazies aren't just something you can catch when you need an excuse or a break anymore. I feel like I have them ALL the time. I'm tired of being crazy. I'm tired of being depressed. I'm tired of trying to pretend like all the loonies around me are normal.
Too often I find myself thinking that comment from Indiana Jones - "Everybody's lost but me!"
I think most of the people around me that are constantly telling me to get my act together and accomplish something and be a good person and .... on and on and on .... they're the ones with the problem. What's wrong with trying to take a few minutes extra and enjoy life? Why can't I be happy even though I'm single?
I've got news for you! I have lots of friends with children and husbands. That didn't make them happier. It didn't make their lives easier. It sure didn't make them more beautiful and fun. What's wrong with taking care of my aging parents and making time to laugh every day. When did being happy become such a sin?!
Too often I find myself thinking that comment from Indiana Jones - "Everybody's lost but me!"
I think most of the people around me that are constantly telling me to get my act together and accomplish something and be a good person and .... on and on and on .... they're the ones with the problem. What's wrong with trying to take a few minutes extra and enjoy life? Why can't I be happy even though I'm single?
I've got news for you! I have lots of friends with children and husbands. That didn't make them happier. It didn't make their lives easier. It sure didn't make them more beautiful and fun. What's wrong with taking care of my aging parents and making time to laugh every day. When did being happy become such a sin?!
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