School Daze

Just when I start to think things definitely can't get worse (knock on wood) something else happens. It's a big fat joke. And not the funny kind either.

So my nephew had a school project and family was invited to come. My soon-to-be-ex-brother-in-law showed up and his kids left the room. Literally ran to the bathroom to hide.

Later he asks why they won't let him take their picture but they stand grinning for me to snap a few. Well gee, what can I say. I don't mock, berate, or terrorize them. They're kids. Kids have attitude sometimes. That's no reason to tell them they have a brain injury and are mean to you for no reason.

I'm guessing he doesn't actually know anything about kids.

Double Down

There are definitely good days and bad days. Today is a mixture. I have kids again because some un-named yahoo made a dumb-ass decision. What ever happened to common sense?

So he takes the kids to the doctor in an effort to prove what a bitch he's married to. Did he bother with appointments? Nah. We'll show up 3 hours early and it will magically work out! Trust me!

Right. Trust ... Sure.

What does that mean to me? And why am I acting all frustrated about it? Who am I supposed to be babysitting here? The kids or the parent?

It irritates me that grown idiots get to behave this way and no one does anything. This, ladies and gentlemen, is why we have lights at the end of a freeway entrance ramp. Because someone acted like a brainless fool and we excused their behavior to the point that we assume everyone is completely stupid now. 

News flash! Not everyone is stupid. Not everyone is selfish. Not everyone has an ugly divorce. Grow the hell up!

Hell-o

I've unfriended most of the bullies on facebook. The sad part is that there are a few I can't seem to let go. Some of them weren't awful. Some were okay people. Some were and are still, good friends. Why does this bother me so very much.

I got a call the other day from an old co-worker. One of the good ones of course. Even though she's the best co-worker and friend EVER the name on caller ID still throws me off and sends shivers down my spine. Which is quite the trick seeing as I'm paralysed. I hate that I even question her motives. I hate that I wonder if anyone I know is a real friend.

I don't trust my own judgment. I don't trust most people around me. I learned very young not to trust people. Especially people in authority. I never had real friends. I figured out after being betrayed and abandoned that the ones pretending to be friends would attack at the least provocation. It wasn't even my actions that caused me to believe I was worthless. I've been taught to be this way. I was well-trained.

I absolutely love my friends. I'll do anything for them. The shirt off my back. My last $20. Anything. Perhaps it's my problem. Maybe I offer so much and then they start to think about what they might have. They start making demands. They insist that I help them with things that I don't want to do. It progresses until I have to unfriend them in order to find peace. Perhaps its me that drive them crazy.

The common link between all of my problems is still ... me.

Tax Stupidity

You'll like this. His latest move is to threaten my sister with having to file taxes separate. He insisted that they get a CPA to prepare taxes for 2014. My sister told him to hurry up and get it done. She visited several tax places and talked to the IRS about good CPA's. He hated her ideas.

He found a tax preparer - who he claims needs no education and my sister should shut up about her not being a CPA. He says that this tax preparer is good enough and one of my sisters good friends. My sister has never met her. Really, man?

Change the rules mid-stream? And once you've changed the rules, you threaten anyone not willing to follow what you claim the new rules to be? Because, ladies and gentlemen, he's just going to change the rules again in another hour. That's his MO. Once you figure out what he's doing, he abruptly changes direction or language or attitude or whatever will throw people off.

The sad part is that his new 'girlfriend' has no idea what he's really like. Oh boy is that going to come as a shock to her. My sister survived 16 years with the nut-job. After a 6-month separation, he's already on girlfriend number 2. Number 2!

Obviously the crazy is sneaking out while he's not looking....

Dickhead Alert

Today was hilarious! So now he's claiming that I'm biasing his kids. Yep, because between trying to find a job, helping his children with homework, doing my own homework, and finding time to make dinner & do laundry I have SOOO much time available! Of course any time I have left after that is spent thinking about the short, fat, balding, idiot my sister married. Must be. Of course I think, talk, and write about the dickhead all the time. Of course!

What else would I do with my time?!

And naturally I have nothing better to do with my life than sit around and bad-mouth him. Sure, stupid soon-to-be-ex. Of course I have nothing better to do.... Are ex-any-relations really so self-absorbed to think we have no life outside of them? Do they really think we care enough to spend that much time thinking about them? I'm seriously concerned. Maybe it's just my nearly-ex-brother-in-law who is doing this? Maybe no one else has a similar problem?

If that's the case, why did a therapist (NOT for nearly-ex-brother-in-law problems) tell me to blog about the minor irritants in my life? Blogging is supposed to be a stress reliever. Why do a million other people complain about their ex's each day? What makes them think we even care about them? Because seriously, if they think we care about them after everything they've done we are totally DOING SOMETHING WRONG!

Maybe that's where I need to focus. What have I done to make him think I care in any way about him? Like or hate? And who on earth is even telling him that I'm saying mean things about him to his children? It's not his nearly-ex-wife. It can't be the kids. Because I'm not. I'm going out of my way to make sure the kids have to form their own opinions about everything. I've told the little buggers to stop hating him. I've bribed them to be nicer to him. Damnit! It's not my job to make his kids like him!

Suck up to your own kids, dickhead!

Jaws of Hell

I accidently drifted off in my after-workout massage chair this morning. My first mistake of the day. Seriously, like five minutes and I was in the middle of another nightmare. When are they going to stop? I quit my job from hell a year ago! The nightmares should be done by now.

I've looked at the workplace bullying symptoms, forums, and help blogs with no change. Nothing helped while I was being tormented by those bee-otches from an un-heaven-like place. Nothing is helping now that I've grown a pair and left there.

You'd think something would change.

I would think something would change!

I still can't drive on that street. I still can't see black Kia's without breaking into a sweat. I still can't talk to people on Facebook who are friends of friends of them. I've had to completely distance myself from life in my efforts to recover. I'm thinking now that I may never recover.

This is my new normal.

I hate nightmares.