How often am I going to strain to get through each day? I'm tired. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of winter and the dreary days with little sun and no outdoors. I'm freaking sick of this pandemic and the changes it has forced us all into.
I used to be able to go walking for a couple miles each day to get out of the house. Instead, I tore my achiles tendon eight months ago and it's still painful. No extended walking and what walking I can do is extra-super-slow. I feel beaten and abused and abandoned by life.
Which is uber funny because I've been talking with my therapist lately about my piece-of-crap self esteem. I thought it was getting better. If I'm doing so much better, why do I still have days when I'm depressed and fatalistic? And why on earth is this blog not helping me feel better?!
Perhaps it has something to do with not publicly posting most of my rants. I wrote them down, but then never make them public. I think therapists are terrorists. They torture people, emotionally drain them, and then charge a ton of money for the experience.
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